I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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