Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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