Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
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