He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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