Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
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