he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
