i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
