she's into porn, im staying here tonight
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I won't apologize to a one balled man
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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