Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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