I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I wannas sexs uuuuu
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
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