Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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