I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
