i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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