Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize