the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize