So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Randomize
