There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
