Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
