i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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