I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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