I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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