No stitches, just platelets and will power
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
