I will die if light touches me.
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Randomize
