i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
