There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
lets start a swedish sibling band together
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
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