There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
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Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
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I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
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