Plan B is the new Plan A
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Text me some of your sweat
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
