Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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