Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
