Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
