You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
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