Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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