your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Randomize
