o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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