Jerry, you need to find god
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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