Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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