Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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