a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
my liver is dry heaving
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
