well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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