i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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