I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I just gift wrapped bread.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
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