I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Randomize
