On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
