I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
where am i from again
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Randomize
