Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
