The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
