Where did you get a picture of my penis
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Randomize
