And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
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