Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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