More tranny stories later!
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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