I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
There's always time for handjobs
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Randomize
