Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
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I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
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On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
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