Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Randomize
