my mouth tastes like poor choices
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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