Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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