And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Define "chronic" masturbator.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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